I am so glad I went food shopping with council member Tony. Already I was justifying items that, in hindsight, were outside the boundaries of the food items I designated for this fast. It is amazing to me how easily I will toe the line, even straight up tight-rope it, and push boundaries. As I sit here typing this, it occurs to me how in so many other areas in life I toed the line and tripped over it only to fall flat on my face, sometimes to some lasting consequences WAY outside the scope of this post. Walking down the aisles, I felt a surge of stupidity – “Tony, is this stupid? What I am doing.” Tony “you never asked me before for my opinion, you just go ahead and do it. It’s impulsive.” Me, “But I’ve been thinking about this since November.” Tony, “you don’t always communicate what’s going on in your head. I think the spirit of what you are doing is awesome.” I thought about what he said. I realize that I am brimming with thoughts and ideas and don’t share them with those closest to me. He is also concerned because of all that is going on in my life – I just put an offer on a fixer upper today, am running 2 businesses, working a job, homeschooling a 16-year-old, caregiving my mother and helping a 10 year old try and work out fractions. So maybe, just maybe, this venture will get me to open up more and share what is on my heart and in my head. I wonder what all the benefits and consequences of this “impulse” will bear fruit too. I will begin to have more clarity of my actions – even good ones – and how I clutter my life by busyness and actions. After the shopping experience, which took a bit longer than anticipated – due to meticulously reading labels of the more “complex” food items, such as the bread, the apple butter and apple sauce, I realized how fortunate I am to have people joining me in solidarity. I know I cannot do this by myself. Oh; I forgot to mention the deal on council members – Jen H. had one and it turned out to be pivotal in her journey as I will be in mind. I will introduce them to you them at another time. My thoughts are racing faster than I can type.
This morning, I proudly laid out all my groceries – all 100% organic, farm-raised, kinda pricey investment – and took a picture. I was actually excited to cook (I am sure the novelty will wear off soon) and made myself and my mother some breakfast of a spinach omelet, bread with apple butter. Unsweetened hot mint green tea, water with orange Fiberwise and some vitamins and minerals. It looked so pretty that I took another photo. I am like a crazy teenager snapping selfies and texting my friends with them. I am not in the pictures though, well except for the one picture with “my last meal” yesterday of beef tips in brown sauce and a beermosa – BUT it is not a selfie…Tony took that picture; okay at my request, but there. I am STUFFED. I may not have as much a challenge as Jen Hatmaker, because my basic diet is kind of bland with flavor shots, and I have the tendency NOT to eat regularly because when I am in the zone I actually forget to eat. So, I am anticipating awesome things to happen over the next several weeks. Jen H. missed coffee. I miss honey.
About the Blog...
We have heard the wisdom that we should love others as we love ourselves; but many of us do not even Like ourselves let alone Love ourselves. My mission is to help people learn to truly love themselves so that they can then love others as themselves.